Swiss Colony Beef Log

Stockings are hung on the chimney,
And the presents are under the tree
And mama's in the kitchen
Making some herbal tea

Windows are covered with frost
And the candles are all alight
But as I wander through this quiet house
Something just doesn't seem right

You see, every year, the neighbors bring us
A Swiss Colony Beef Log
But the neighbors aren't around around, around
There's no Beef Log to be found this year

Christmas isn't Christmas
Without a Swiss Colony Beef Log
Without those cheeses and meats
I don't think I can get along

Mother tries to comfort me
She says "Here, Son, have some eggnog"
I fucking hate eggnog, seriously

But what do I see
Underneath the tree?
Grandma got a Swiss Colony Beef Log just for me
Ah, ah, ah, Baby

Swiss Colony Beef Log, baby
That's what Christmas is all about
My prayer has finally come in a Beef Log baby
Makes a little boy scream and shout

Deck the halls with boughs of Swiss Colony
Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la